Chapter one

I have to change my life
I deserve better
I was meant to live a full life, a happy life
I deserve to be happy
I deserve to be wealthy
I deserve a wealthy lifestyle
It is a journey in fulfilling everything that life has to offer:
· Happiness
· Wealth
· Health
· Harmony
· Everything
The Universe is my limit

But things that we desire and deserve do not come easily. We have to believe, at least that’s what “THEY” say. Believing that tomorrow will be “the day”. The day to be driving the car that we always dream of, the day we will have this successful career or business that we longed for, the day we will say, YES I MADE IT”. Yes I have realized my dream; I am living the life that is mine, the life that I deserve. The day we will thank the Lord for the support that was always here with us, throughout the journey. Thank the Lord for uplifting us when we were down and did not believe anymore. Thank the Lord for opening our eyes and making us see the end of the tunnel. The day we will be proud of what we have accomplished, the decision that we have made, the step that we have decided to take, even though people were telling us to do the opposite. The day, the day…

Klanman was on her bed, starring at the ceiling, her mind was empty, for the first time she was not thinking about her financial obligation; she was on her bed, and her mind was empty. Everything was white, plain white, just like the color of the ceiling in her tiny bedroom. Klanman had been living in Uncle Sam’s country for five years now. Five years far from her hometown, far from her parents, her friends. She had a new life here in this tiny city that she really loved. She was not sad because she was lonely, she was not sad because she was far from her friends and family. She was not sad at all. She was neither sad nor happy. But she was confused, disoriented by life. She could not understand “what was the meaning of this life that she had “chosen” to live”.
Klanman was originally from a beautiful country on the west coast of Africa. She had this great opportunity to come and study abroad. A dream that many people, back where she is from, have in their heart.

Her phone started to ring. She looked at the caller ID and said:

-“Him…what does he want from me now”
-“Hello” silence. The male voice said
-“Yes, what’s up? She asks
The voice on the other line to reply:
-“I am fine where you asleep?”
-“If I was asleep. No, I was not”
-“Is it a bad time for me to call? Would want me to call back?
It was him the man that she has known since she has been in this country, her “boyfriend” when he wanted her to be his “girlfriend”. It was a relationship with more breakups than makeups. At this point she was used to it, she did not try to get out of the relationship but she did not try to make it work either.

-Hum…what do you want? She said
-I was wondering if I could stop by?
-Stop by for what, have you forgotten something here?
-No (silence) I just wanted to…
-You just wanted to what?
-Anyway, I will call you back. You seemed to need some space
-So you talk for me now, is that it? So now you know when I need some space, and when I don’t. Listen what do you want?
-I will call you back. He replied.
-What you mean you will call back? Why did you want to stop by here? Because you wanted to stop by, isn’t it?
- Klanman, listnen I call you back, I have another call on the other line.
- You full of it, you. You call me and now you want to hang up because you have another line. Anyway as it suits you. Please do not call me anymore.

He hang up, and she looked at her phone and said to herself;
-“Really he hung up! Hum!”

That was her relationship, they were always arguing. Most of the time she was the one initiating the arguments. Why did she do that? She needed to be heard, to be love, to be held. But never was she held, loved, heard by this man and by any other man.
I need to do something. Get out of this house. I need to call someone. She looked at her cell phone, the last number she dialed was his. Most of the number she dialed was his. Most of the phone calls she had received were his. She sat on the bed and waited. She waited for what, she knew but she did not want to face it. She was waiting for his call. It has been three minutes and he has not called back yet. Who was it talking to?

She was a graduate student, she had an acceptable job in one of the well-known investment company in the place, she did not depend on anybody financially, but emotionally, she was helpless in front of the men.

“Why wasn’t he calling me back” was the only thing she could think of. She looked at her phone once again and hit the talk button. The phone started to ring. Once, twice, three times no answer. She called back, no answer, she was infuriated at that point. She did not want to leave any voice message since she knew he would not listen to it. She decided to text him, but it takes too long to type and what she had to say was too long. She dialed his number again. Finally, he picked up.
-Why didn’t you answer? She said.
-I told you I had another call on the other line
-So that’s why you could not answer my phone call?
- Klanman…he said with a laugh.
- What so funny? Anyway didn’t you say you would stop by? And once again she falls back to where she had wanted to leave for so long. She wanted to leave him but every time she tells him it was over she runs back after him. “What is wrong with me” she thoughts
- Klanman are you listening?
- What, what did you say?
- I cannot come now I have some errands that I need to be taken care of.

She hung up without a word. Everything seemed dark, cold, she was cold, and she wanted to wrap herself in her bed but could not get herself to lie down on her bed. “What is wrong with me” was the only thing she could think about.
“Please GOD help me” was the first thing she said out loud. “Ask, believe and you shall receive”.
Her phone rang; she jumped to pick it up, hoping it was him. No it was her best friend.
-Hey! Jeanine what’s up? Klanman said
- I have been trying to call you for hours but it did not go through. Those phone cards. Are you there?
- Yes.
- What’s wrong? Is that him again? You will be better of without him. You broke up with him just yesterday right? Are you ok?
- Hum!Yes. I guess.
- You will be all right.
- I know. But when, I have no idea. I am sorry, how are you over there in Paris?
- I am fine. It is not about me now. It is about you. Are you sure you are fine?
- I am not, but what can I do. Keep on crying, lamenting myself.
- You can talk to me.
- I know. You have always been here for me. You are so great. I really miss you. If you were here I would feel better.
- I am here on the phone. Don’t cry
- I cannot hold it anymore. It is too much.
- I know.
- What did he say when you told him it was over?
- Hum!…nothing. He said ok. Can I spend the night?
Jeannie laughed
-Don’t laugh. Please, it is not funny.
-I am not laughing at you. You know that. Right. It is just that I am trying to imagine what went through his mind and he said that.
-Hum… Do I know? I have to go I call you back.
-Ok. You will be fine trust me and call me.


She decided to take a walk. It had never occurred to her to take a walk, but with no reason she wore her shoes and went outside for a walk. It was a beautiful summer Sunday afternoon. People were out riding their bike, walking on the street, driving their cars with the windows down and the music loud. “Should I go left or right?” She had no clue. She turned right and walked for an hour.
She got home; she took a shower and slept. He called but she did not answer.

Introduction

Who are we? Who am I? Have you ever asked yourself this question? If not lay on your back and ask yourself…. Who am I? Why am I here?


We are black, light skin, dark skin. We are woman, we are mother, we are wife, we are daughter, we are sister, and we are auntie. We are part of the Universe.



We all have a dream, big or small. Dreaming is part of human being, Dreaming is Life.
The intensity of the dream depends on the beholder of the dreamer. A dream in my opinion is GOD talking to us, conversing with us through images that we have while being asleep, or awake. You know what, God is always talking to us, and we should always listen.
A dream can stay a dream as long as we choose to, or it can manifest itself in our lives if we decide to pursuit it. It is all a matter of choice. Choice. Choice. Choice.

We all have a potential, a potential to change our lives, our relationships with others. We have the potential to change our perception of life; we have the choice to live an amazing life. Everything is up to us. We have the power to see big, to see beyond our imagination and realized our deepest dream. We have the power to plant the seed of potentiality.


Life is like a Jigsaw puzzle without any picture to guide us. Just like life, we do not know where we are heading but we know that we have to move to create something.
Life is about taking the first step and the rest will unfold. We need to keep the end in mind. Stay focus and keep the end in mind.

We are our own architects; we are building the perfect house. The perfect life, the perfect dream. It takes time determination and courage to build a wonderful house, just like it takes time, determination and courage to believe, follow and fulfill a dream. One step at the time, one foot in front of the other. Slowly but surely.

Let’s EMPOWER OURSELVES, let’s our imagination take the lead of our life and see where it is going to take us. Let’s discover the Goddess that lies within us and awaken our true SELF.


It is said that most of us are born asleep; most of us live asleep, and get married asleep. Basically we live our life asleep. We are dormant soul with no purpose, no vision. Guest what? With no vision, no purpose we cannot get very far. Just like a car with an empty tank. Let’s awaken our soul and listen to what the Self has to say. Be still and listen. God is talking to us.